Calling The Doctor





Ah'm sick, doctor-man, Ah'm sick!

Gi' me some'n' to he'p me quick,

Don't,--Ah'll die!



Tried mighty hard fo' to cure mahse'f;

Tried all dem t'ings on de pantry she'f;

Couldn' fin' not'in' a-tall would do,

An' so Ah sent fo' you.



"Wha'd Ah take?" Well, le' me see:

Firs',--horhound drops an' catnip tea;

Den rock candy soaked in rum,

An' a good sized chunk o' camphor gum;

Next Ah tried was castor oil,

An' snakeroot tea brought to a boil;

Sassafras tea fo' to clean mah blood;

But none o' dem t'ings didn' do no good.

Den when home remedies seem to shirk,

Dem pantry bottles was put to work:



Blue-mass, laud'num, liver pills,

"Sixty-six, fo' fever an' chills,"

Ready Relief, an' A.B.C.,

An' half a bottle of X.Y.Z.

An' sev'al mo' Ah don't recall,

Dey nevah done no good at all.



Mah appetite begun to fail;

'Ah fo'ced some clabber, about a pail,

Fo' mah ol' gran'ma always said

When yo' can't eat you're almost dead.



So Ah got scared an' sent for you.--

Now, doctor, see what you c'n do.

Ah'm sick, doctor-man. Gawd knows Ah'm sick!

Gi' me some'n' to he'p me quick,

Don't,--Ah'll die!





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